Dangerous Thoughts

“Are you sure about this?” Jenny’s sweaty palms were wrapped around my elbow, and I could feel the heat radiating from her hands inside my cotton shirt.

“Yeah, I think…yeah! What’s the point of all these when it’s not useful to anyone, fucking, ever!” I said.

“But, this is what you always wanted. Do you think you can live without it?”

“We will see, won’t we?”

Soon after those words left my mouth, I arrived at my office. The reflecting surface of the monitor which hasn’t been turned on reminded me of my life which is not being utilized to its full potential; leaving me a broken mirror full of tapped together unfitting pieces.

“Hey, look who is here! It’s our in-house writer, Jack!” Kenny screamed to the whole office.

That was it. I had let it go every other day, but I wasn’t going to do now, not today. So I stood with a might that could launch me off this earth and said, “Hey, you know what? At least, I have something I care about beyond this corporate bullshit unlike the rest of you, mindless drone calculator bullshitters.”

“What the hell is going on over here?” Mary came out from her cabin and looked at us in puzzle.

So, Kenny and I were sitting in her cabin a few minutes later, and she looked at us keenly before opening from her mouth.

“Jack, it seems that you are having a bad day, but it doesn’t give you any rights to yell at other people. You know that other people have problems in their life too just like you.” She said.

I scoffed.

“If you have something to say to me, you should be able to say it to my face instead of yelling.” Kenny said.

“Oh I have so much to say to you, but you know what I am going to say? I am going to say this. Be happy, I quit writing! So I don’t have to hear you mocking me every day.”

Kenny’s eyes widened and he pulled down his tie a bit, “you quit writing? But you were so good at it.”

“You are not going to stop even now, are you?” I said.

“No man, I am not going to stop. Every day before I go to bed, I whip up my laptop just to see what you have written that day. It made me feel good that someone hasn’t given upon his dreams unlike me.”

“Nonsense! You don’t like my writing.”

“How would you know if I liked it or not? You never bother to show us,” Kenny said.

I stayed silent.

“If you have talked to us, you would know that Kenny and his wife are having trouble with conceiving their baby. But he is the nicest person on office, because he knows how painful lives can be. Maybe, it’s you who need to start giving us some respect instead of mocking us as corporate drones?”

“I…I am sorry, and I am sorry to you too,” I said to Kenny.

“It’s alright man. We all think the whole world is spinning around us, and there is this huge weight over our shoulders. Maybe, it’s true or maybe it’s just us, but it’ll get easier, you know? You are young, and you may get thesedangerous thoughts about quitting, doing the sane thing, or might think that people are just one dimensional characters appearing in your life, but I know you will get better. I see it.”

“I don’t know. I am sorry I yelled at you before.”

“It’s okay, man. I know this isn’t the real you, because I have read your writing and I think you should let that person out sometimes, you know?” Kenny said.

“So, if you guys are going to hug each other, you can take it out of my cabin.” Mary said.

I chuckled, “Thanks to you too. I, uh, needed it.”

“It’s my pleasure, and don’t ever think about quitting since you got one more reader right now.” She winked.

As I walked out, Kenny wrapped his hands around my shoulder and squeezed me a little. The guilt overcame me as I witnessed his smile and so I hurried to my seat.

From behind me, I heard Kenny’s screaming again, “Never quit, Jack the writer!”

This time I turned back and smiled at him.

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In response to Tuesday Writing Prompt Challenge from Go Dog Go Café

Photo by Ümit Bulut on Unsplash