Goodbye Blogging!

Alright.

For the past few months, I have been writing some sort of apology or coming back or wake up call post to rope myself back into the blogging whirlpool I so much love. But the harder I try, the further it moves and futile it feels. I was and am even scared of the thought that I might have lost my love for the words. Today, I realized I didn’t. If you want to dwell for no reason further into my post, please do so. Be warned, it’s just expression of my thoughts.

When I started blogging, I was free to say the least. I had no responsibilities and goals. My 24 hours were in my complete control. I cut through every post in my sight and wrote every weird thought occurred in my mind and I conversed with almost everyone I met (that was the most fun part.)

Ever since “some things” happened in my life, no matter how much I try, I couldn’t get that sweet habit back. It always slips my memory or fingers. I also realized it’s not just about interest (even though I admit, I’m slipping on that department) I simply don’t have enough time. The new goals and new works and responsibilities add only more stress which leads me unable and unfit to do any of those rather than all of them. Then I realized, This is the end.

In no way, this is my last post, I love blogging and I still will and I can learn so much more from here. It’s just blogging isn’t what it was to me anymore. I simply couldn’t or can’t spend all time (few hours after work) on reading all the posts. Not only it’s impractical and impossible, it’s meaningless if I don’t spend enough time to enjoy all of your beautiful words (I say this with mind how breathtaking and stunning many people’s writing here can be) So what am I going to do?

I have always wanted to be a writer. Maybe not consciously. I have wanted to be a scientist, a civil servant, a doctor and a superhero (especially a Spiderman) like all kids, but I never have ever took a single step towards those goals. But I have been always writing (in a loose concept), from random facts, poems, moral stories, the episodes of Japanese power rangers (they were better btw!) to adaptations of Spiderman movies. But I never for once thought, this could be my passion because I was too deep in love with it than to realize anything.

Why am I telling you a random fact about my childhood? Only an year ago I realized, As far as the things I did and the emotions I felt, writing is what makes sense to me most! A sense of belonging to this world and my responsibility in it. I’m supposed to write! I finally understood how dancers feel about dancing, singers about singing and every damn people out their who is chasing something over their head against everything. I was finally happy to have something to chase. That left me most hurt when I procrastinated blogging. Because for me blogging was writing. Today I realized I was wrong.

No offense to people here, blogging is an wonderful activity, but it wasn’t my goal or the end point of my journey. I always thought I would get stuck in it’s beauty and comfort and never pass this phase. But it was over before I know, now I have nowhere to go except forward.

Which is Writing. It’s kinda obvious at this stage. But I’m ashamed to say it sometimes, because to become something, you have to dedicate every ounce of your effort to it (at least most of the times) Eventhough it’s not practical, I wasn’t doing enough to not feel guilty. Mostly because I kept comparing my performance to my past blogging activity quantitatively. I always felt down. I can maybe never read that many post in a day, ever maybe! But I can write a complete book, finish my novellas before I forget how they feel.

Before I can do that, I want to remember that I shouldn’t be sad about leaving blogging (relatively) but just thankful for the lessons it taught me. So thank you everyone.

I will be here, regularly, just not frequently.

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12 thoughts on “Goodbye Blogging!

  1. we set such impossible standards for ourselves and get annoyed that we do, such irony of life but I totally understand you J! take the time to be honest about who you are, and please remember that those who expect too much of you are not worth your time or effort, yes be selfish with what makes you happy and whole. Even if you don’t have enough time to “blog” in whatever way you perceive that to be, don’t forget to write! love and much blessings to you my friend, and your thoughts are precious and appreciated!

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  2. I know exactly what you mean, and you are not alone! When I started blogging it was because I had just had a novel accepted by a publisher and I needed to get active in social media. I dived into blogging. It was difficult at first because I wasn’t sure what I was doing, if I was doing it right, and if it would do any good. I didn’t blog much to begin with, then started interacting a bit, and began to get a following. If you are intent on becoming a writer, I’d say, stick with the blog, but use it, don’t let it rule your life, and don’t let it become the goal! Post about your work, its progress, and test bits of it with readers. When you reach the point of wanting to get a publisher, the more social network potential readers you’ve got, the more chance you’ll have of launching your book well. It’s also an incredibly good way of honing your writing skills, writing poetry, writing flash fiction, following prompts. Just don’t feel obliged to follow a thousand blogs and comment on them religiously. Best of luck with the writing, and please don’t go away!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Aww! This is what I was talking about! Meeting and learning from people like you changed my life, Jane! Thank you for your great advice and I won’t ever go away. The comfort of blogging is too irresistible for any writer I would reckon. Thank you for making this part of my life awesome!

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      1. We’re all in it together 🙂 I have the time now that I can’t work any more but I use the blog to toss down thoughts and ideas as well as picking the brains of the kind people who post prompts. It’s all good. Just use it!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I know, blog is a great place to stir your brain. Too many times have I stumbled on an idea from a fellow Writer’s words. Your words in particular are great inspiration to me. Today I browsed through my notes, there were too many “dead” deadlines, which started the thought process to this post.

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